Monday, December 23, 2019

Let's Be Real


Hi there, howowyou? Okay, I do not intend to berseloroh in this post like my previous post. But sometimes, I hardly stay serious, still nak berannoying. Please bear with me if I accidentally made it here. This will be my third post and might be the last post for today. Well, just realised I'll be having another holiday on 25th so why the rush? haha.


What's up with the title. Let's be real? I actually have received a plenty and the same-like statements made from people around me regardless of their age and gender. Which I would like to make this clear to those who are reading this. I know people meant it good but I just feel like I have to say. I am not having the same thought or feeling like them. And this post, is a message to my future man yang entah siapa ^^,. 

They say that, kalau ada lelaki dapat I, the man is lucky. They say the man is lucky to have me for what ever reasons they gave to me. I don't have to list them here. What's the point anyway. What is important is my future man punya penerimaan terhadap diri I yang tak seberapa ini. Ceh. Ok, let's be serious again. But I was serious sikit okay tadi just a little bit cringed with my own words lol. I memang tak seberapa pun, banyak lagi ruang to be improved along this journey till I meet you, and continue improving along the journey with you till my last breath. 

You know, it is not you that will be lucky. But it is me being lucky to have you. I do not really know why it is hard for me to trust a person, and to love someone. Is it because of the prayers I make everyday? To fall in love with the correct person and probably till now I haven't found one? God knows. Only Him knows. But when one day I decided to trust you and give my love to you, will be my luckiest day. Because that shows how trustworthy, loving, reliable and responsible you are. You just manly unlocked my heart. "YOU JUST UNLOCKED MY HEART", the day I'll be waiting for selagi nyawa dikandung badan. That shows how you manage to show me what is trust and love. That shows how you manage to teach me to give my trust and love to someone, and that someone is you, my future man. 

So ya, it is not him but me, the lucky one. I feel contrary with other people. The way they see it is different from the way I see. Gosh, I am now full of love that makes me one to be puitis tiberrr :P 

Let's be real, is what I have always wanted since I was small. That is why, I have no intention to have a boyfriend. The uncertainty (becoming my husband) for me is a waste of time. Hahaha. I hate to imagine hearing someone saying that "she (me) is my girlfriend" or "i am her (me) boyfriend". No. That is not my standard. No offense. I am not degrading the status of being someone's girlfriend or boyfriend. It's just not me to be someone's girlfriend. I like mature and serious relationship. In my love journey, I would like to skip that boyfriend-girlfriend part, I swear. Haha. If a person mature enough, boleh faham that boyfriend girlfriend is unnecessary.

I realised, I lagi tak suka when I have a bad experience about it. Dah pernah cerita. Takpe I cerita balik. When I was in standard 6, I don't know who but a boy just simply picked my name saying that I am his girlfriend, we are couple now to my childhood friend. Behind my back. My childhood friend started to cari pasal dengan I until form 2 or 3. I had not idea why he treated me so badly. What did I do? Until one day I got to know that he was so heartbroken with the false statement made by that unknown boy. My childhood friend liked me so yeah that explains. I did not know as well though until everything messed up. He was being so toxic and I cut him off, lost contact. I swear sampai sekarang teringat sedih gila. Like, he should ask me, get clarification instead of percaya buta-buta and lost this friendship. I tak rugi. Dia rugi. I jujur orangnya, and he failed to see hahahahaha. What a shame. >_< :P

If my future man has his past relationship/s, would I get jealous or insecure? Ye lah I takde kisah lampau untuk dikenang atau dibandingkan -_-.... The answer is definitely a NO. Insecure what-again? (You know if you read prev post) Hahaha. Sebab he has me now and I have him. Is it enough to answer? Hahaha. I am pretty much confident though with myself LOL. Tapi tak tahu lah kan manusia ni berubah. Tengok-tengok nanti timbul rasa insecure tu. But you know, I jenis tak layan that kind of perasaan sangat. Kalau ada pun I am just glad because isn't that means I love him? Gitchu. But not having any suspicious thing la. If i accept someone, it is because of his current and our futures. If he has failed past r/s (s), he can just learn from it not to repeat again with me :P , I am new so kasi la chance, beri tunjuk ajar :P See, I have special play card :P Sorry not sorry lol.

Having to know of his past relationship/s tak beri efek to me because when I have him, means I accepted him, when I accepted him, means he showed to me how serious he is to be with me. Kalau I tak nampak masakan I nak accept and to give my trust and love. Hahaha. My fasa kenal-kenal is not simply kenal-kenal at the same time I or him can just cuba kenal-kenal other person yang lain. My kenal-kenal means that I am serious to get to know you and won't playing around and he must do the same. Until one of us decided cannot go to the next phase, just be friends or until both of us decided we can go to the next phase. It is either one. I do not "venture" to couple thingy because I tak suka the idea of "ownership" as a couple. If you know what I meant. Kalau tak, sudah. Hahaha

I have to be transparent now. Actually ada je lelaki baik-baik datang. But you know, like I always say, tak semestinya orang tu baik untuk kita, kita juga baik untuk mereka and vice versa. What is important right now is the acceptance. Accept what? Kebaikan dan kekurangan dia. Dan dia juga menerima kekurangan dan kebaikan I. Menerima kebaikan, easy. Benda baik kan. Haha. But menerima kekurangan? Benda main dengan hati ni agak complex :)

For example, lelaki A kekurangan dia merokok. Lelaki B kekurangan dia juga merokok. But somehow, I can accept lelaki B daripada lelaki A. Why though? Kekurangan diorang sama je. Well, I don't know. "Mysteriously" I FEEL like I can just accept Lelaki B punya kekurangan. Hahahaha. That is one of the ways I can know that man probably a good jodoh to me. Benda ni variables, not everyone has the same hint or journey in meeting someone. Usually, it cannot be explained but the acceptance tu memang important.

I actually ada cakap pasal ni but tak ingat kat mana. Blog ke ig story ke or ig caption. Hahahaha. Lebih detail. Right now, I don't find the correct words and way to express. Hehew. But tu salah satu contoh acceptance lah. Ada yang lain, you guys might be more expert :P

Anyway, that is what I really wanted to tell. To tell my future man that if you dengar my side (friends la usually) cakap you are lucky to have me, no..I feel like I am the lucky one. But kalau good friends they will say you are so malang to have me. Please. Trust them separuh je. HAHAHA. 

Till then peeps and my future man ;)

Fi hifzillah wa fi amanillah. 

:: NN ::

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