Sunday, November 10, 2019

Wan I Miss You

Assalamualaikum

Hi semua. Hows your life? Mine kinda good. Just busy with some stuffs ^_^. My post today is something personal that I feel today.
Harini my Dad pergi pasar. He met Toksu (adik beradik arwah Wan). The first thing she asked was me. When I heard that, I felt so touched. You know, losing you Wan was so difficult for me although I managed to smile and laugh. My life has changed tremendously. Sometimes, I feel so lonely without you. I feel so lost and do not know what to do without you. Because you always have the answer to my questions. Just like Google! 

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You know, today I feel this bizarre feeling again. I don't feel anything but it hurts. Sometimes, the memori-memori dengan Wan membawa senyuman dan tawa. But there are still times membawa tangisan. The fact that you are no longer here with me still membawa kesedihan. Dah berapa tahun Wan? Too soon, too soon. Tak puas. I still need you. Maybe sebab tu rasa sedih tiba-tiba. Mungkin Tuhan nak kata I should stop to feel and think such way and what I need is only Allah. 

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Today, rasa macam dah dapat lagi satu jawapan. Wan, I think all those times Wan sebenarnya tahu what I am like. Segala usikkan Wan tu, sebab Wan tahu diri ni bagaimana. Wan, I promised to myself untuk realisasikan usikkan Wan tu. Tapi kan Wan, still nowhere to be found lah ^^'' haha. Wan, lepas Wan pergi I am not sure anymore about things I did and will do. Dulu ada Wan untuk meluahkan dan berkongsi. Mendengar pandangan. Sekarang no one I can rely and trust. It's just so difficult. Jadi hanya Allah tempat mengadu dan meluahkan. 

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Wan, mula-mula Wan pergi dulu lepas a few months Maktok menyusul. Lepas tu Nenek (moyang). Lepas tu Tokngah. Terkilan waktu pemergian Tokngah. Tak dapat hantar Tokngah pergi Makkah. Tahu-tahu je dah tak balik :') ... Tapi sebab Tokngah pergi dengan mulia sekali dan di tanah suci, senang untuk redha. Tapi still sedih. I miss everyone. Sedih sangat bila all the elders pergi seorang demi seorang sebab I still need doa-doa from the elders. Setiap tahun ada yang pergi Wan. Baik disebelah Abah mahupun disebelah Emak. Tapi tak apa lah, buat apa lama-lama didunia yang semakin merapu dan tenat ini, Wan. Baik berehat disisi Allah. But still, I hope Toksu terus sihat dan dipanjangkan usia because cucu-cucu Toksu still ada masih kecil and I want them to feel the love from a grandparent, make memories with Toksu lagi banyak.

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Wan, I feel so tired this month. Maybe sebab tu juga affect my emotion and mental sampai teringatkan Wan dan again rasa macam how I wish Wan ada. Wan, tak lama dulu ada interview this one suspect di charged atas memiliki dadah. Seorang pakcik around 40+ I think, tak ingat umur dia. Anak dia ada didalam penjara atas sebab ambil dadah. After end of the interview session kan Wan, you know what... Pakcik tu cakap

'Nanti bila awak kahwin, janganlah bagi atuk nenek jaga anak awak'

I smirked. Malas nak cakap banyak. I disagree, Wan. Senangnya putting the blame on other people. Not sure grandparents dia maksudkan itu mak ayah dia atau mentua dia but still. Mungkin penyesalan dia hanya sebab biar mak ayah dia jaga anak dia dan anak dia tersasar dari jalanan. Dia tak sedar, bukan itu punca utamanya. Sebenarnya dari didikkan dia sendiri walaupun beri mak ayah dia jaga anaknya. Anak itu bukan sekadar anugerah dan amanah tetapi boleh jadi ujian buat kita. Lupa nak tanya, dia solat ke tak. Selalunya kan Wan, apabila ibu bapa tak solat, anaknya juga sama dan seterusnya, tahu-tahulah apa jadi dengan mereka dan keluarga. 

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Sebenarnya kan Wan, my point is I live sampai sekarang dengan didikkan Wan yang dapat every weekend and during the school holidays when I stayed with you. Dengan berbekalkan nasihat dan pandangan Wan, diri ini jadi manusia sebegini sekarang disebabkan itu Wan. Nasihat dan ajaran Wan dan Maktok. Kedua-duanya. Both of you gave good examples to me. I picked up a lot from both of you. Every weekend jumpa Wan dan Maktok. Cuti sekolah panjang duduk dengan Wan and Maktok with other cousins. In fact, akak Munira kecil-kecil tinggal dan dijaga Wan dan Maktok. Elok saja akak. Nak kahwin dah pun. In syaa Allah dengan orang yang baik. Dan akan jaga dia baik-baik sepertimana keluarga menjaga dia. ^_^. 

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Orang selalu tanya macam mana diri ni matang dari usia. One of the reasons sebenarnya sebabkan Wan. Wan selalu bersembang dan tanya to me like an adult. Wan selalu handle diri ni like an adult or a friend. Bila dah besar ni, I like the way how you did not let my hand go selagi tak jawab soalan Wan. When you asked in English, I must replied in English. Kalau replied bahasa Melayu, tak dilepas tangan ni. Hahaha. If I were to find a man to marry, I would like that man to resemble you. Sedikit pun tak pe sebab tahu susah cari orang macam Wan ni ;) One in a million. Maktok beruntung! Sebab tu Maktok pun tak boleh pisah dengan Wan lama-lama dan menyusul Wan. Hm, sweet. Hahaha.

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Okay Wan, I know you cannot read this. But the possibility for Allah to let you know what I feel ni, Allahu'alam. Ouh ya, sampai sekarang kan Wan... hari yang mimpikan Wan tu dan Wan peluk tu. Sampai sekarang masih terasa kehangatan pelukkan Wan. Felt so real, Wan. And everytime terasa kehangatan tu, I thank Allah. Rasa macam the best gift ever from Allah. Semoga Allah lapangkan kubur Wan, Maktok, Nenek, Tokngah, Kakek, Nek Piah, Uncle Aleng, Uncle Zahrin, Paklang Syukri, Pandak Zaini, Wan Shukor dan lain-lain. I miss all of you. Semoga kalian semua berada dalam keadaan baik-baik di alam sana dan moga-moga kita bakal jumpa di syurga nanti. One of the motivations I want to do goods in this life is because dengan harapan nak masuk syurga jumpa balik semua ahli keluarga. Semoga diri ini sentiasa berada di jalan yang benar dan berada dalam rahmat dan jagaan Allah. I need that, to see all of you again. 

Till then. Have a really good rest, there.

:: NN ::

Tuesday, July 30, 2019

Perspective: Is This A Discrimination?

Assalamualaikum


They are looking for a cook and the requirement is to pray 5 times a day (for a Muslim, obviously). So, is this a discrimination? What do you think?

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At first instant,  I would say it is discriminative by nature. This is because everyone is free to choose on how they want to practice their religion. But I would love to add something on my opinion or perspective.

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The thing is I would love to look at this in a positive way. First and foremost, it's up to the employers to put any and what kind of requirements they want. This does not come from me but you people out there. For me personally, no harm for putting such requirement "someone that prays 5 times a day". This is because for Muslims, it is compulsory to pray 5 times a day. I take this as an encouragement and an opportunity for someone to practice Islam better. 

The key words here are "ENCOURAGEMENT" , "OPPORTUNITY" , "BETTER PRACTICE".

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Whoever has a desire to be a better Muslim and at the same time having a job that totally gives you the space to practice your religion correctly , this is the best job, probably. What a golden opportunity. I bet their target people are Muslims, so they put it that way. It is said that Muslims must do dakwah also in any way so long it doesn't against Islam and I find this way is a good way as well. 

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Every Muslim has their own story or starting point in becoming a better Muslim. Some are getting by force before they sincerely doing it. Some are just plainly doing in season such as during Ramadhan. What I would like to say is that this can be a turning or starting point for someone to be a better Muslim by praying 5 times a day. He or she might not prayed 5 times before but after getting this job they obey. For me what matters is the end result. Doesn't matter how you start but how do you end it.

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It is not like you have been forced to do something which is not compulsory such as fasting on Monday and Thursday (puasa sunat), or solat Dhuha everyday (solat sunat waktu pagi). If that kind of requirement, yes I might disagree as that totally up to oneself to do or not to do. But praying 5 times a day is not a man law but Allah's law. It is compulsory (wajib) and for a Muslim to against such requirement, I find it weird. For me, it eases a Muslim to practice Islam. 

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Just look at other companies that way more discriminative and unfair by not allowing a Muslim to pray, or cover herself (scarf or tudung). Such requirements are way.... way..... unacceptable. People are going to say, "Oh that because the company is owned by a non-Muslim". Heh? That is the REAL discriminating by not allowing a Muslim to practice Islam freely and correctly. Even there are more like this even the companies owned by Muslims. What a disappoinment. There is also companies that put the requirement "Chinese only". Okay. As people out there said, that is the employer's right to put such requirement. But happened to be they did not state but during the interview, "Ouh we only want Chinese". This happened widely, so many times. Compared to a company wants Muslim only. I think this is the first I see putting such requirement "someone that prays 5 times a day" (portraying wanting a Muslim). The requirement suits for a Muslim.

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I see no harm or problem with it. Compared to other companies and many Muslims are having a hard time to get a job and even they got the job but very hard to practice Islam correctly. This is totally sad and more worrying. This Mukha Cafe issue? Nothing more than just a very good news for Muslims.

Again, I humbly giving this as my personal opinion and perspective. I respect their stance and courage. I respect their strong belief and hard work. I see this as an encouragement, opportunity and a place for Muslims to be practice Islam better.

:: NN ::

Sunday, July 14, 2019

Latest Update

Assalamualaikum


Hi there, it's me after a long time. Maaf agak lama menghilang juga since the last post. Alhamdulillah sihat. KNOW WHAT, I am DONE WITH MY DEGREE (since before Hari Raya dulu) yeay! So what's next? 

I'm currently doing my chambering in a law firm situated in Penang, but not in island. I'll talk more about my chambering after done with all the formalities and I believe not everyone knows or understands what chambering (latihan dalam kamar) is all about. So, I'll do a special post for it but can't promise when.

But for a side note, because I have not gotten my release letter from my university yet, sooo I am likely doing an attachment in the firm. So chambering supposedly to be done for 9 months but only when I have sent the Form 1 and Form 2. Just forget about the formalities 'details' but roughly saying I am not yet officially doing my chambering and I can change to a new firm if I want to so long before the Form 1 and Form 2 and those Forms need my release letter. 

Ok done with that. Words kinda messed up there I guess because I'm rushing HAHA.

I wouuuuuld lllllove to share on my thoughts like what I really want to do in futures or as much like now and what exactly I want in this life. I want to live my life correctly. It's okay to do mistakes along the way though but I want the mistakes come from my own decision, not someone else. Then I cannot put the blame on anyone and not on me too, but I'll just learn from my own mistakes and let them go. Sooo I'll share my thoughts or dreams and whatnots on my next post soon in syaa Allah.

I am actually so simple but it gets complicated when other people get 'into me' and that is so nerve-racking and also can go to the extend that pissed me off. Everything is so messed up and confused, you know. 

Anyway, I'll be graduating soon in October in syaa Allah. I hope everything goes smoothly. Just pray the best for me, aite? I hope the best too for everyone. 

Much love, 

:: NN ::