Saturday, May 6, 2017

'Dia' Hadir Saat Aku Kehilangan

Assalamualaikum

"Aku syukur kepada Tuhan. Kerana Dia tidak berikan aku awal-awal ketika aku tidak perlu. Dia hadirkan tepat pada waktunya apabila aku sangat perlu."

Story In di instagram, tidak lama dulu. Siapa 'Dia' ? Tidak akan In nyatakan nama. Tetapi akan In ungkapkan perwatakannya. 'Dia' yang lembut bicaranya, baik tutur katanya, kelakar tanpa berusaha menjadi kelakar (just the way you are lewls), baik serta pandai melayan, berpandangan jauh, setiap bait katanya menenangkan dan sporting (apabila melayan perangai gila-gila In. Wait, sometimes, dia yang over k. hahaha). 

Where should I start? A few years back, In kehilangan lagi seorang yang In sayang. Yang In cintai. My beloved late great grandmother. Ketika itu, In dan dia bertemu. Mengenali satu sama lain. I was a little bit hyper back then. Note that it's not during the day my great grandmother passed away. I think, a few days later? Couldn't remember. But they came (he and his family) visited because of that. Nenek passed away. (Al-Fatihah). 

I got to know that we are at the same age. Somebody told me at that time and while at it, I looked at him, and he looked at me from afar, and because I was a little bit hyper, I waved at him and said "we're gang!". O.M.G. Why did I do such thing? Imma such a weirdo, fine. He was shocked at my behavior of course but what was more shocking is that he waved at me back -___-... YOU ARE THE WEIRDO OK. Hahahahaha. My cousins agreed on this. LOL. 

Kitorang sepatutnya boleh je dah kenal satu sama lain a longggg longgg time ago. We actually happened to be at the same place almost every year since we were kids but both of us never ever happened to see or recognize each other. That's totally weird. I knew his siblings. But not him. Hahahaha. I didn't even know his EXISTENCE, so did him...never knew my EXISTENCE. When we talked about this, we laughed. hahahaha 

I was so sad because every year In kehilangan my precious family members. Arwah Wan, Maktok, Nenek, dll... Tak ada semangat. Rasa kosong. My moral supports hilang. I felt empty. Very empty. Like tak ada arah tuju dan goal kehidupan. Hahaha. Of course I have my parents, I love them too but people who knew me, tahu yang In sangat sayang sangat sangat sangatttt sayang Arwah Wan. (Probably more than In sayang my parents.) Hahaha. That's just happened. My late Wan understood me the best. 

So while I was struggling with growing-up-life, I met him. The very first day we met, after he went back home, I searched him on social media. He's something. I just felt it that way. And it turned out that he DID THE SAME. We are equal, buddy. Hahahaha. I stalked him. He stalked me,not. Actually yes, he did search but he couldn't find me on social media. BECAUSE I DIDNT HAVE FACEBOOK. I DELETED MY FB ACCOUNTS. Hahaha. He added my cousin just to find me and turned out because of his friend request, my cousin approved, my cousin told me, and we stalked him. Nothing much to stalk pun. LOL. 

Seperti biasa, In tak puas hati. Like c'monnn, nothing to see and to know about him. Heckkk. Then I searched him on Twitter. LOL. I didn't give up. BECAUSE AGAIN I FELT HE'S SOMETHING. Why before this I never knew about his existence??? Kenot brain at all. I izzzzz don't understanddddd... Hahahaha. Anddddd I found him! I found his two accounts. The non active and active. The fat him and the skinny him. LOL. I think when he was a fat kiddo, not that attractive that's why I didnt recognize him. BUT what about me? Since I was a baby till now, a little cute and adorable young lady... pretty adult woman. You couldn't seeeeee??? Hahahaha. Kidding. Hahaha!

Anyway, I found him on Twitter. I mentioned him. And he replied. Trust me, I laughed a lot. He confessed so many things and I was like 'you are really a stalker'. hahahaha. Since then, In rasa banyak ilmu In dapat, In rasa 'hidup' kembali because there's someone I can seek for advise ke pendapat ke, luahkan ke. Agama dia bagus. Alhamdulillah :) I'm proud of you. Really.Truly.Ikhlasly. Hahahaha. 

In tak tahu kenapa baru that day In kenal dia. In baru tahu kewujudan dia. Yang pasti, In dapat lihat hikmahnya. Because I think, waktu Allah kenalkan dia kepada In, ketika waktu I felt like there's no one else dah yang In ada. Yang In boleh rujuk for something ke apa. I felt hopeless. Kalau In kenal dia lebih awal, maybe takde apa sangat la. Like 'ouh okay.' Hahaha.. Saat In benar rasa kehilangan, tiba-tiba In sudah rasa terisi. Allah ambil seseorang yang penting dalam hidup In, Allah kemudiannya tak lama selepas itu ketemukan In dengan seseorang yang supposed to be kenal lama dah but dengan perancanganNya, kitorang baru kenal satu sama lain ketika itu. 

He helped me alot. He shared so many ilmu with me. He gave so many kind words that comforted me. Alhamdulillah... May Allah bless you, brother :) And may Allah ease your journey. Any kind of route you take, may Allah protect and guide you. You were there for me, maybe without your knowledge pun that I needed it, but thank you. And I'll always be there for you as well. Y'know why. Alhamdulillah, there's still a good guy. I feel blessed knowing you. Thank you Allah. 

:: NN ::